Here’s a list of ways to bid adieu to that not-so-wanted friend, so it’s less awkward between the two of you…
“I have always lost touch with many friends, but breaking up with a very close friend was a first,” says a 27-year-old media professional, who parted ways with a peer due to personal differences. “Now, we don’t even look eye-to-eye, even when we are in the same space. Though it has been tough on me, I think it was the best thing to do,” she adds.
For those of you who’re still confused, breaking up with a friend has become nowadays. While discussing this with a group of people, we discovered that for those aged above 30, this concept seemed alien. We received responses like, “Really, young people do that? Is this for real?” Yes, breakups now are not just for couples. And, no matter what the compatibility or the relationship may be, it does take a toll on people. However, in friendship, such a breach can be difficult to act on, let alone be suggested. But we agree, sometimes what is important is moving away from some people for one’s own good. Certain friends tend to create negative influences and it is best to let them go. Here are a few ways to break up with such a friend without making it a painful process.
1. Give it thought: Make sure your reasons for breaking up with your friend are justified, and not based on hearsay or wrong reasoning. Gaining a great friend is difficult, losing one is easy. Mull over your decision about whether this is an appropriate step to take. Also, talk to a third person for an unbiased view before you act upon your decision of ending a friendship.
2. Cut hER/hIm some slack: Is it okay to end the intimacy you shared with a friend and bring it down to just being an acquaintance? Answer that, and if you think that might be easier on the two of you, why not! Save yourself some drama. This also gives you time to be reasonable. Then again, maybe a chat with your buddy could help them notice their flaws (if any) and help them change for the better.
3. A face-to-face conversation: In a time when social networking sites have gained so much relevance, breaking up gets a new avatar — via an email or a message! Not only is this an act of escapism, it’s downright cheap too. It is important you explain to your friend, in person, why you decide to not keep in touch anymore; a friend deserves that much. Make a plan to meet your friend and tell her/him why you decided to take this call. Be frank, however hard it may be.
4. Hear them out: Everyone has a stand and what you can do as a friend (or an ex-friend) is hear that out. It’s okay to stick to yours and be focused on what you intend to do, nonetheless listen to what your friend has to say. Don’t just say what you have to and expect the other person to act accordingly. You never know, maybe your friend could point out flaws in you which you never knew you had.
5. Don’t make a scene: Settle the conversation between the two of you without making a scenein front of common friends. Remember, you were friends at one given time and suddenly, disgracing each other in front of people who respected your friendship is nothing but immature. Be civil, most importantly be decent. Don’t vent out ill feelings in a manner you would regret later.